Friday, February 5, 2010

The little things

Anyone who is or has been in a relationship could tell you all the things that they love and hate about things thier significant other does. Everyone has a story about all the things that person did for them. My favorite were the little things. The text messages in the middle of the day just to day he missed me, the comments when I was finally in his arms about how beautiful I was or how much he loved me, the conversations we had before we fell asleep, the kisses you could just tell meant more then a normal kiss. I miss the way he looked at me. No matter what I was wearing, or how I had my hair, if I had makeup on or I didnt there was always that look. I missed being loved, being wanted. I fear I will never find that again. I fear that no matter who I get into a relationship with from this day on will never truely love me. I dont want anyone else to be Jarod, I dont want the same exact relationship Jarod and I had that was ours and ours alone. I think the one thing Jarod did for me that I loved the most was the one single rose he left in my car the night he borrowed it. Right before we started dating he borrowed my car for a few hours, he brought it back and when I went out to get in it the next morning there on the passenger seat was the most beautiful and perfect red rose. When I say perfect I mean just that. It had no flaws. I still have it, when it finally did die we hung it up to save it, it still looks amazing. I just dont think I will ever find someone who is just so head over heals for me as Jarod was. I know that if I ever do get married again the day I walk down the aiel I will think of Jarod and what it would have been like to have that life with him.

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