Thursday, December 31, 2009

A new year

Wow what a year 2009 has been. One year ago today I sat thinking about the how I wanted 2008 to be over because it had been a crappy year, when in fact 2008 wasnt such a bad year looking back now. Not after this last year. 2009 has so far been the worst and toughest year I have ever had to go through. I started the year off losing Jarod and from there things just seemed to go down hill. Work was terrible to me, I ended up quitting that job for another one thinking it was better until I got layed off. I've spent the better part of the year just trying to make it. I've made alot of friends this year but I lost my best friend and a few I thought were close. One of my closest friends and I quit talking earlier this year after something happen between the two of us. We started talking and hanging out again a few months ago, and having her just even to talk to and vent to has been such a help the past few months. This still arent back to how they were, I least I dont think so. I have a really hard time talking to her about anything to do with Jarod. I dont talk to to many people about things with Jarod. Its just not something I feel I cant talk to alot of people about. I have my family and a few other people that I can really talk to about anything.

This time of year everyone is making new year resolutions, and as I was thinking about mine last night I had a total break down. I found myself sitting on the floor next to my bed staring at a picture of Jarod and crying. Instead of thinking of all the things for the up coming year I kept thinking about all the things that happen last year. Its really hard to think of all the things to come not knowing if they will be good or bad. So I thought some more today and my resolution this year is this...I'm not going to take anything for granted. I'm going to live up every moment like I'll never have another. I'm going to spend time with old friends and strive to make new ones. I'm going to make memorys I can talk about for years to come. I'm going to take chances and strive to be better at everything I do. It might sound like alot but in the end its all the makings for enjoying life. So thats my new years resolution, in 2010 I'm going to enjoy life. Thats what Jarod would want me to do and I know he will be standing next to me every step of the way. So Bring it on 2010 after this year I feel as though I could over come anything!